I bit the bullet. I went to haloscan commenting. I have just been to lazy to figure out all that html javascript crapola. This is sum what of a test I don’t know if I did it right, we shall see. I have not been myself lately. I have been overly sensitive. Not just physically but emotionally as well. It sucks. For some reason I had this strange flashback and it has set me off.
It was when I was 17.
Quick background: In high school I was never an all out slut but as I alluded to before I was and still am freaky. I love sex. I think it is genetic because everyone in my family I would classify as having an above average libido. I have a large family, we have a lot of fun together and are generally very open and honest with each other. That is how I know I come from a family of freaks. As they say the apple never falls far from the tree.
Anyways. I was 17 dating a very fun open minded guy. Anyways one night we were high, yes I smoked some ganja here and there as a kid. We started fucking like we usually did. He started sucking on my nipples. Yummy. Then I think I asked him to bite them or do it harder. He complied. I kept telling him harder, no even harder. There was a little bit of blood but I was nothing but turned on. Later he confessed he was really uncomfortable with that whole situation. I was disappointed because I had loved it. We continued to have some really great sex but broke up a year later. He is also the one that convinced me having sex on your period was wrong wrong wrong. It took my husband two years to undo that damage.
To make a long story short this flashback has caused me to feel really insecure in Daddy’s and my current status. I wrote him a little note, explaining how I want to be used by him. Once again he said something about not being able to be mean. I want to talk this out further with him but we just have not been in the communicating mood lately. But I am also scared of guilting him into doing something he is not comfortable with, I don’t want to feel that feeling I did after the whole biting nipple incident.
I feel Daddy keeps contradicting himself. He says he doesn’t want to be mean but then does ‘mean’ things. I have been rather tender down there lately but still wetter then wet the last few days. But still not enough motivation to initiate some good old fashioned love making. So last night Daddy starts getting frisky fast and next thing I know his cock is pushing into my not yet wet hole. Ouch I said I’m not wet yet and I have been tender. I don’t care, he says, just take it. He pushes inside me and I start gushing. Completely insensitive to my ‘needs’ and nothing turns me on more.
I think some of my melancholy comes from the fact two different couples that I am friends with just ended their long term relationships. It makes me want to try harder in my own relationship and Daddy just doesn’t understand all this emotion all the sudden.
This is turning into a way longer mushy post then I planned on. I love Daddy. He is everything I need in a partner. He is also a wonderful father. A great son to his parents and mine. A loving brother to his sisters. A devoted friend. People can’t help but love and respect Daddy, he is a genuinely good guy.
He started a new job recently. He likes it a lot and it fits him perfectly. I guess I feel insecure because I think some of the ladies he works with will see all the wonderful qualities I see and will want him for themselves. And you know how woman can be when they want something. So I am feeling even more commeted to making our relationship fun. Something he looks forward to coming home to. Relationships are something you have to work at, I don’t care what anyone says.
Right now Daddy and I don’t have the same frame of reference. I see these supposedly strong and wonderful relationships ending around me and I don’t want that to be us next.
I guess I should mention too I started a new job just last year. I mainly work with females. There is one guy in our whole department well two if you count the boss. But there are lots of other departments and now I am starting to meet new people and ‘socialize’ outside of my department more. I have received a bit of attention from a fair share of really nice gentlemen. I am always quick to share that I am happily married with two wonderful children. But that attention is there. I know it is there in Daddy’s case also.
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing." ~Anais Nin
Ugh, enough.
It was when I was 17.
Quick background: In high school I was never an all out slut but as I alluded to before I was and still am freaky. I love sex. I think it is genetic because everyone in my family I would classify as having an above average libido. I have a large family, we have a lot of fun together and are generally very open and honest with each other. That is how I know I come from a family of freaks. As they say the apple never falls far from the tree.
Anyways. I was 17 dating a very fun open minded guy. Anyways one night we were high, yes I smoked some ganja here and there as a kid. We started fucking like we usually did. He started sucking on my nipples. Yummy. Then I think I asked him to bite them or do it harder. He complied. I kept telling him harder, no even harder. There was a little bit of blood but I was nothing but turned on. Later he confessed he was really uncomfortable with that whole situation. I was disappointed because I had loved it. We continued to have some really great sex but broke up a year later. He is also the one that convinced me having sex on your period was wrong wrong wrong. It took my husband two years to undo that damage.
To make a long story short this flashback has caused me to feel really insecure in Daddy’s and my current status. I wrote him a little note, explaining how I want to be used by him. Once again he said something about not being able to be mean. I want to talk this out further with him but we just have not been in the communicating mood lately. But I am also scared of guilting him into doing something he is not comfortable with, I don’t want to feel that feeling I did after the whole biting nipple incident.
I feel Daddy keeps contradicting himself. He says he doesn’t want to be mean but then does ‘mean’ things. I have been rather tender down there lately but still wetter then wet the last few days. But still not enough motivation to initiate some good old fashioned love making. So last night Daddy starts getting frisky fast and next thing I know his cock is pushing into my not yet wet hole. Ouch I said I’m not wet yet and I have been tender. I don’t care, he says, just take it. He pushes inside me and I start gushing. Completely insensitive to my ‘needs’ and nothing turns me on more.
I think some of my melancholy comes from the fact two different couples that I am friends with just ended their long term relationships. It makes me want to try harder in my own relationship and Daddy just doesn’t understand all this emotion all the sudden.
This is turning into a way longer mushy post then I planned on. I love Daddy. He is everything I need in a partner. He is also a wonderful father. A great son to his parents and mine. A loving brother to his sisters. A devoted friend. People can’t help but love and respect Daddy, he is a genuinely good guy.
He started a new job recently. He likes it a lot and it fits him perfectly. I guess I feel insecure because I think some of the ladies he works with will see all the wonderful qualities I see and will want him for themselves. And you know how woman can be when they want something. So I am feeling even more commeted to making our relationship fun. Something he looks forward to coming home to. Relationships are something you have to work at, I don’t care what anyone says.
Right now Daddy and I don’t have the same frame of reference. I see these supposedly strong and wonderful relationships ending around me and I don’t want that to be us next.
I guess I should mention too I started a new job just last year. I mainly work with females. There is one guy in our whole department well two if you count the boss. But there are lots of other departments and now I am starting to meet new people and ‘socialize’ outside of my department more. I have received a bit of attention from a fair share of really nice gentlemen. I am always quick to share that I am happily married with two wonderful children. But that attention is there. I know it is there in Daddy’s case also.
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing." ~Anais Nin
Ugh, enough.
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