Oh Daddy

Drama with a capitol D. All this emotional turmoil had finally come to a head. Today I am puffy eyed and sleepy after a long tumultuous night with Daddy. Huge misunderstandings and raw feelings came pouring out from the both of us. Everything from A to Z. I am not even sure if anything was really resolved and that is what is so frustrating. I have so many thoughts spinning around in my head. I don’t know if I will be doing anymore posting after this. I guess that is something Daddy and I will discuss rationally (hopefully) after he gets home tonight. I cut and paste from a word document when I post something. If it is something that I want to share with Daddy that I think would help open our communication I save the document in a file. I have never say, “hey there is something I want you to read.’ I just figured if he found it and wanted to discuss it, it would be a door opener. Obviously sometimes I have a hard time articulating myself. I don’t understand the feelings I have or why I have them. That is one of the main reasons I blog. It is a lot less stressful to me to first figure a few things out before I approach Daddy with something that makes me ’shy.’ Well, anyways the last post I saved on the computer along with some other ones that were particularly meaningful to me and Daddy found it last night. I know he has found other ones before because he would kinda bring them up and we would touch on the subject a bit and all would be well. Not so much this time.
A little back ground information. My sister has issues with the internet. There have been a few occasions where it seems she lives her life through the computer. Spending her days IMing away and building relationships online to what I would consider to an unhealthy degree. Currently she and her husband are separated because of this. She does not focus on making her marriage work but instead runs away to the relationships she has made on line. This is typical behavior for my sister, NOT for me. I do not have any instant messaging services to speak of. I do not maintain any kind of electronic communication with anyone I do not know in real life. But last night Daddy did not seem to happy with the idea of blogging. I feel like saying he wasn’t happy about anything. So I know tonight when he gets home this is something we will have to discuss. I blog for me. It is cathartic and helps me to better understand myself. I don’t know why I feel the need to post it for the world to see and that is where Daddy’s issue is. I don’t have a good explanation. I hope he can be understanding and recognize it does not jeopardize our relationship in any way. I think it has only enhanced it.

I am devoted to my husband so if it his wish for me not to share these things with anyone but him, I will respect that. Hey at least I know there is some really good make up sex in the works, eh?